Back to the Academy
by Tiggs Panther
Summary: The Third Hokage threatened to send Orochimaru back to the Academy based on the results of their fateful fight. What if he'd won? Short. Nonserious. You know the drill...
1. A New Student Returns

**Back to the Academy**

_by Tiggs Panther_

The Third Hokage wasn't rated the top ninja in the village, despite his age, for no reason. The fact that he'd reached old age in the ninja lifestyle spoke volumes about his skill levels. And when a Ninja Master makes a threat, you can be damn sure that he intends to back it up with action.

_"I may make you redo your training in the Academy, depending on your performance." - Episode 69, fourteen minutes in._

**A New Student Returns**

Life in Konoha slowly settled back down into some sort of routine. As the village had beaten back the uprising from the Sand and Sound villages, the Third had managed to defeat the mastermind behind it, Orochimaru. It hadn't been without cost to himself, his latest injuries would probably remain with him the rest of his days. His defeat of Orichimaru, however, wasn't over yet. The punishment was something so inane, yet that was all the more scary as Sarutobi was able to enforce it with sheer force of will.

He was not, however, looking forward to the next time his grandson came to visit. By the First, Konohamaru was going to kill him.

* * *

Konohamaru was bored. The village was being rebuilt and he was stuck in classes at the Academy. Udon was at home with a bad cold, Moegi was more interested in drawing cute kittens than goofing off in class and the girl three rows in front of him was a better shot with a spitwad than he was. Sometimes being a trainee ninja sucked. He wished that things were more exciting. He wished that his days could have a little more action.

"I've got a new transfer student to introduce to you all today," said Iruka-sensei, his voice sounding oddly strained. "He comes from the Village of Sound and came recommended by Hokage-sama himself." At this Konohamaru's ears priced up, even as Iruka started to write on the blackboard.

Konohamaru struggled with the characters on the board, recognising _something-maru_ before the pieces dropped into place like a puzzle his grandfather had once given him. The name, the village of origin. And, finally, the plainly adult form walking through the door of the classroom. The apparition spoke with the voice of death and decay itself.

"Orochimaru."

And someone had braided his hair.

* * *

_You know the drill by now. Naruto is not mine. The characters and setting is not mine. The idea is, in conjunction with my friend Fiona. We watched episode 69 and thought it'd be amusing if Sarutobi had actually followed through on his threat._


	2. Plans for the Weekend

**Back to the Academy**

_by Tiggs Panther_

Umino Iruka sighed, not for the first time in the past day and a half. Being prepared for anything the ninja life could throw at you was one thing, but being forced to play teacher to one of the village's most dangerous traitors was another thing entirely. He'd take it up with the Hokage himself, except that he was already seeing exactly how much of a vindictive steak the old man could have at times.

Oh well, time to set today's bit of writing...

**Plans for the Weekend**

Konohamaru rubbed his forehead, stinging from the impact of a piece of chalk directly below the band of his goggles.

"As I was saying," said Iruka, irritably, "before Konohamaru demonstrated how _not_ to avoid detection in a late-night mission, today's classwork is going to be a short essay." The whole class groaned at this. "I want you all to write a little bit about what your plans are for the weekend."

He regretted yawning out loud in front of a ninja teacher but not as much as he regretted not daring kick the guy next to him in the classroom, who was still laughing in that disturbingly gravelly way he did. Having an S-Class criminal as a classmate was annoying. Still, he reflected, this kind of lesson much be humiliating for the snake-man-thing. So it had its up-sides.

* * *

_What I will do on my wekeend – by Konohamaru_

_This wekend I will be walking around the vilage with my grandfather. He is the Hokage and wants to be seen to be intrested in the rebuilding. I know he wud rather be helping out himself, but he is an old man even if he is a ninja master. But I can see that the people like seeing him around even if he just stands and watches. He protectd the vilage for them, so they fix it for him._

Having finished his own work, Konohamaru then had a look over at what other people were writing.

_My Wonderful Weekend – by Moegi_

_Our next door neihbours have a new kiten. This weekend I will be taking my favuorite crayons and drawing it. I like coluoring things..._

There was no real surprise there. He was also not surprised to find that the only part of Udon's scroll that matched the task was the title. The rest of the page was covered in sums.

There was one scroll that did surprise him, though.

_My Grand Plan for the Weekend – by Orochimaru_

_When I am not stuck in this classroom I intend to spend my weekend planning the downfall of this pathetic little village. I shall map every path and building and catalogue every weakness, ready for when the time is ripe to exploit them._

_I also want to eat some Ramen._

Sometimes Konohamaru almost felt sorry for Iruka-sensei.

He rubbed at his still-sore forehead.

Almost.

* * *

_Same deal as usual. Naruto is not mine. The characters and setting is not mine. The idea is mine, although inspired by a conversation I had with a friend._

_Special Note:_

_The kids' spelling errors are intentional, and are there for a reason. Any other typos are accidental, so please let me know if you find any._


End file.
